Lovesick

The yearning feeling to put all into the light. To tear down the curtains of fabrication and tell the other that you love her...

...rather than dancing in small circles around each other, always hesitant, cautious...

You don't know whether or not she likes you. All you know is that you love her - in the strongest sense of the word. You don't dare make advances. You're scared, frightened, you feel alone, unless you're with her.

Do you pursue forward?

Maybe the feeling came suddenly, when you first saw her. Maybe it was gradual. Yet now you're stuck. You can't go back - and you won't go back even if the option was open to you, because you're so hopelessly in love.

She probably doesn't even know it.

But then again, there are those moments in which you just hope she knows, because if she does, that means she doesn't resent the fact. She won't end all ties with you, or always be awkward around you once you do tell her.

But you're afraid. In the state of the unknowing. The lack of information, the lack of understanding, is crushing. It kills all hopes and dreams, and no emotion is left except for the longing for seeing her, talking to her, just being with her.

Time's probably running out. After all, she could leave at any moment. Or perhaps through a long break, she would forget you. Then even the friendship would be lost. Do you wait? Or do you go now?

Your mind is tormented with the feeling, yet you don't want to get rid of it, because besides the struggles and the fits of depression, you still love her. You even long for the feeling. You would do anything, everything, for simply another moment together.

Then there are other people. The people who know, and take it causally. The ones that mock it. The ones that think you're too damned serious, its just a phase, it will pass.

But you find yourself uncaring.
You're in love.